Looking for Confidence

It's been quite a while since I posted. I have felt the need to do so for sometime but had nothing I could really talk about that would be significant. Until today.

I have been struggling personally with my self-confidence as an individual. An individual in the gospel of Jesus Christ and in the world. I am in my final semester of an Elementary Education program. As I embark on my student teaching I was feeling insecure and wondering if I can really do it all. Be the best teacher that my students need me to be and help them by making a difference in their lives. I wondered if I would have enough left over for my Lord,family, friends, and personal goals or will I be consumed by my work? It's been a little scary. I am also preparing to move back to a town that really doesn't think to highly of me. What if they are right to think negatively about me.

So, today I wasn't feeling well. Scratchy throat and sore body parts from working hard on Saturday. I decided to rest and not attend church. I however still had the desire to focus on my spirit for a time. If I don't do this my week is much more negative and seems long and gruesome. I sat decided to watch BYU t.v. for a bit and then read an article. This is what I experienced.

I was watching a devotional on BYU t.v. It was a Mormon Black NBA player talking to some youth. He was talking about believing in yourself. He started to talk about how there will ALWAYS be people in your life who don't believe in you, and who will tell you that you can't do something. I know I will at times have parents and students who do not like me. But, If at the end of the day I know I gave it all I had and I put my heart into it...then there has to be some peace in that. Further that peace comes from using my God given gifts. I have to show faith in Him and His power to shape me into who He needs me to be. All my experiences shall be for my good. Even the tough ones. They will form me into a fine work of Art that God has set forth as a plan for me and my life.

After watching that I read an article in the Ensign for this month(January) It was about self-confidence. In the article it states from the Doctrine and Covenants, "Then shall confidence wax strong in the presence of God; and the doctrine of the priesthood shall distill upon thy soul as the dews from heaven....And without compulsory means it shall flow unto thee forever and ever." 121:45-46. It was so refreshing to read this. It made me remember that I can't look to the world for a means of self-confidence. I need to look within and from the loving source of my Heavenly Father. He is the light and He makes us who we are. He is and ever will be the one who is most interested in our increase. As we live faithful to Him and seek to serve Him in our lives we will find the confidence we need to be and do the things we are asked to do each and ever day.

I know these things to be true. I have felt an increase of light and happiness in reviewing and being reminded of these things. I know that God is aware of us each and every day. He knows what we need and when we need it. We must only take the time to listen and let the Holy Spirit lead us to the answers we seek.

May you find the answers you seek is my prayer.