Gods Love

I believe in the power of angels, for many reasons.

To begin with, when I was a young mother I had many a late late night rocking my children when they were sick. Not knowing how to calm them and help them rest I would pray to the Lord. I remember distinctly one very late night crying tears of helplessness pleading with the Lord to help me to bring peace to my child. At the end of my prayer an idea came to me, I followed through and my child felt peace and calm enough to rest.

This memory has never left me. I know that not only was my prayer answered but the angels of the Lord were with my child and I the rest of the night so that we both could sleep. I know there are angels all around us. I know that God loves us so much that He sends His angels to administer to our pains and bring us peace and safety.

My children do not live with me. This is a source of constant pain and anguish of the soul for me. Many a night I have cried out to the Lord to bring me peace that I might be able to sleep. I worry so for them. I worry for their souls and for the choices of the past that have caused my children pain. There are even times when I am so worried over them that the only way I can comfort myself is to pray to the Lord to "Circle the Arms of His angels around them and protect them." I KNOW with all that is in me that He does this. I have felt it. I have felt a warmth in my heart that quiets, comforts and brings an abundance of peace to me.

He has done this for me in my life innumerable times. I know He does this for you as well.

The reason I felt the need to write of this is it has happened to me again. This time in a way that I want to never forget. I feel it is a private matter meant for me. However, I needed to share with you the Power of Heaven. It is beyond the scope of our minds ability to conceive it.
God is real. God and His angels guide our lives daily. I know this to be true with all my heart. I have felt it through the witnessing spirit of the Holy Ghost. You too can feel this witness if you open your heart and mind to the Lord. Pray with Full sincerity of heart and you will know the things I write here are true.

I bear witness of the truthfulness of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I bear witness of Gods love and mercy for our lives. He knows and loves us very much. He is aware of the pains and burdens that weigh us down. He knows that often we are unable to push forward in this cruel mortality we live in. He knows us individually. He is there for you. He is waiting with His arms outstretched. When you least expect it He is lifting the burden and lightening your load just enough for you to get your feet and strength back under you. He loves you so much that He allowed His son, our Savior Jesus Christ to perish on the cross.

When this life feels as if you can not endure another moment. Turn to HIM in pleading prayer and you will find HIM. I promise you this! I bear witness to this with all my heart. His angels of mercy and love are waiting to administer unto you. In HIS almighty name. Amen.

Losing Focus

Recently I was in yet ANOTHER accident with my car. I was in one only a few months ago. It is amazing how your self-confidence fades when you make a mistake more than once of the same kind. I have been nervous each time I get in the car and feelings of fear overwhelm me when making any kind of decision lately.

So, as I often do I decided it was time to reflect and figure out why these things keep happening. What is wrong with me. What do I need to change. What is God trying to teach me.

I has taken me all week to really come up with a good solid answer. See the same day I had the accident I had just been to the temple. It was easy to cry out "why" when I sat in my car falling apart in tears. It was easy to cry out "But Lord I was just doing your work why did you let this happen to me?" In reality I know that God cannot protect us when we are making foolish choices. My foolish choice had been to take my eyes off of the road when I was coming to an intersection. So, I contemplated that and apologized to the Lord for blaming Him. Of course it wasn't His fault. This became a teaching moment and I feel strongly that was what He intended it to be.

See, life speeds past us. We go day to day trying to pay the rent, take care of other responsibilities and perhaps we just take a moment to pray to the Lord when our day is done. At least that is how my life has been in the past 6 months.

I am trying so hard to fill my responsibilities with my family, my home, my education. I am giving my all to my education right now at the expense of everything else. I have put my home and the care of it on the back burner. My relationships are suffering as well. My loved ones know its only for a while and are very understanding, which I think has given me permission to just let it all go. And my relationship with the Lord has suffered as well.

I used to go to the temple once a week. But, I think I only made it once during my previous semester. God understands as well. I know He does. He knows my heart as He knows yours. But, just like my relationships with the people I love...that does not give me permission to let it all go.

I have lost focus not only when I drive...speeding down the road thinking ahead and looking away. Talking on the phone making appointments with friends or talking with family because when I get home I have a mountain of homework.

I am thankful I had this wreck though it wreaked havoc on my heart, soul, body and car. It has made me stop and analyze my life. It has caused me to take stock of what is really important. It has made me realize my focus hasn't been lost just when I drive. It has also been lost in my life.

God needs me to do His work. God needs you. Just like we need Him because we are imperfect. My life also needs God in it to be stable, well-rounded and fulfilled. I need to give him my attention more than I have. Not only for Him but also for myself. My life is ALWAYS a more pleasent experiece when I have focused my mind and spent ample time with HIM my creator and my Father. I know my self-worth and who I am when I have taken the time to walk with Him for a while.

I challenge you to analyze where your focus is. Make more time for the Lord and you will be blessed. I know this to be true. With all my heart. Thank you Lord for teaching me a very important lesson.

Controversies and Living Prophets

I need to talk for a moment about our Prophets. I know there is much controversy over the prophet Joseph Smith. I know because when I was returning to the church I struggled to believe in him as a REAL prophet of GOD. It's one of those stories someone tells you once and you can hardly believe it is real. There is just no possible logical way that God appeared to a 14 year old boy and eventually returned the keys to the priesthood that had been lost to this young man.

Another controversy that even I, myself struggled with on the road to returning from dark places is the fact that Mormon's brain wash their little children. From a logical standpoint it does look like a brainwashing. We are taught from the time we are little children about the inner workings of our religion. And if one didn't know better and judged only from the surface it does seem to be like a brainwashing. Teaching a child one way so that its all they ever know.

Why do I bring up such negative concepts here on my SPIRITUAL blog. Because if you are to be truly converted you may want to hear about concepts I struggled with, reasoned out, researched and ultimately laid to rest after praying to the Lord. These are tough questions and ones that can't just be put aside. You must find answers for yourselves just as I did. I will share my answers with you and encourage you to question them and test them and ask the Lord for a confirmation of the truth.

See that is the difference between a BRAINWASHING and The LDS religion. In a brainwashing you are not allowed to ask. You are restricted to what you have been taught and you follow it blindly. But, in the Mormon church each person, every individual is encouraged to find answers for themselves. To look into the questions deeper and then to take it to the Lord and wait for an answer. You must have faith that the Lord will answer your prayers.

This laid to rest the idea that was presented to me by others who felt that Mormons were brainwashed. I now know with all my heart that we are not brainwashed. We are taught the ways of the Lord. We are taught that faith in God will bring peace to your life. We are taught to live the laws of Christs church from the bible. We are taught that Christ is real and God knows us. Then after we are taught, we are encouraged to ask God ourselves. Leaving our hearts open to the witness that is and can only be felt with the heart and the power of the Holy Spirit. I know God answers prayers. I know He will answer yours. He answered mine.

My first real test of this came when a few years ago I wanted to KNOW that Joseph Smith was a true prophet. I wanted to feel it in my heart and not question it. From the worldly or logical perspective, as I stated before, there was no way it was true! But, by small and simple things great things come to pass. Jesus Himself was small and simple, a carpenters son of humble birth. Joseph Smith was no different.

As I struggled to understand how he could have really been the first prophet of my church, a new movie was released. It was timely and seemed in and of itself a tender mercy that the Lord sent to me. Though I am not vain enough to think it was only for me, it did seem to come at just the right moment to answer my questions. It is for all.

It depicts the life of Joseph Smith and can be viewed at any LDS temple visitor center. I encourage you to watch it. It was there that the Holy Spirit Testified to me that what I was viewing was a true story and that Joseph was called of God to bring to pass the restoration of Christs church. I now know that its true. It is also because of his humble plea in a grove of trees that I know all that I know about the life of my Savior Jesus Christ. I have Joseph Smith to thank for his sacrifices and for the testimony I have of Christ.

It's okay to ask the questions. It's okay not to just believe it because it is what you are being taught. It's okay, because even God wants us to know. He will make the answers available to you. Ask him, in faith, believing He will answer your prayer and your questions. He will. I know He will.

Recently, as I attended the annual LDS women's conference in Provo, Utah this past week, I was able to sit and listen to our Living Prophet today. President Thomas S. Monson. I was sick and felt really badly but knew that I was suppose to be in that huge assembly of women to hear his words. His words as the mouth piece of the Lord.

It is a miraculous and wonderful thing to have a living Prophet today. Guiding us and teaching us in the ways of the Lord. As he was walking into the building with his loving wife by his side, there was a silence that fell upon the crowd. We stood in reverence and respect for his position in our lives and our church. And then we began to sing a song we often sing to our Prophets. It was without the piano and so beautiful.

"We thank thee Oh God for a Prophet to guide us in these latter days. We thank thee for sending the gospel to lighten our lives with its rays. We thank thee for every blessing bestowed by thy bounteous hand..."

Tears feel down my checks once again as the spirit witnessed to me that Thomas S. Monson is a true and living prophet called of God and put here to guide us in righteousness. What a glorious experience it was.

I know that God lives. I know that He loves his children. I know He is aware of your questions and your struggle over logical controversies. I know that He wants you to find your way. Ask Him. Seek Him. You will find Him. I know because I have.

I say this in His name. AMEN.

My Story

I guess to begin this new blog I should start with a little about me. I have been a member of the church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day saints all my life. I went to seminary beginning my 9th grade year of school. Seminary is a class they offer to LDS students where they learn more about religion during school off of school campus. I loved it. I bore my testimony regularly from the age of 10. There has been a driving pull towards the warmth that comes from the life of Jesus Christ for most of my life.

Does that mean life has been perfect and blissful. No not at all. This life is a time when we prepare to meet God. Which ultimately means life is hard, as it should be. We learn most from life when it is difficult. Think about it...the harder we work to earn something, the more we give our very best, the more we invest, the more rewarding the outcome. So, why wouldn't mortality be the same. Life is meant to test us and we must give our personal best to become all God would have us be.

At various points in my life I have been given two roads to take. I have not always chosen the higher road. By higher I mean the pathway of light, the road that God would have me take. I took the path of least resistance. I went the way of the world. Not something I am proud of. However, I have learned so much because of my travels.

I won't go into all the dark places I have been here. I will state that there is much darkness in the world. It is a dead end. A road with little fleeting joys. A very important life lesson I have learned is to focus on the positive. Let go of the past. Keeping one foot in the mistakes of days gone will only keep us grounded in pain. If we focus on the negative then everything is dark all the time.

My focus here is to share the redeeming Grace of the Lord, the gift of repentance, and the beauty that life holds when we correct our lives. I am blessed daily for choosing to return to the pathway of light. I am in a better place now. It has been difficult but I have never been alone. God loves me and he loves you.

Because of my belief in a higher power, which was developed as a child by my growth in the Gospel of Jesus Christ, I have always been aware of my Savior. I am thankful for the knowledge I have of the Life of Christ, His example, His redeeming sacrafice, and His love for me. I am thankful for goodly parents who helped me to see, taught me to feel, and opened a world of light to me when I was young.

I long to share this light with others and offer my heart here to those who might long to find purpose in their life. Without my testimony of the truthfulness of the teaching of the LDS church I would still be a wanderer in a lonely and dark world. Thankfully I am not. Thankfully, I have the light and long for you to have it to.