Losing Focus

Recently I was in yet ANOTHER accident with my car. I was in one only a few months ago. It is amazing how your self-confidence fades when you make a mistake more than once of the same kind. I have been nervous each time I get in the car and feelings of fear overwhelm me when making any kind of decision lately.

So, as I often do I decided it was time to reflect and figure out why these things keep happening. What is wrong with me. What do I need to change. What is God trying to teach me.

I has taken me all week to really come up with a good solid answer. See the same day I had the accident I had just been to the temple. It was easy to cry out "why" when I sat in my car falling apart in tears. It was easy to cry out "But Lord I was just doing your work why did you let this happen to me?" In reality I know that God cannot protect us when we are making foolish choices. My foolish choice had been to take my eyes off of the road when I was coming to an intersection. So, I contemplated that and apologized to the Lord for blaming Him. Of course it wasn't His fault. This became a teaching moment and I feel strongly that was what He intended it to be.

See, life speeds past us. We go day to day trying to pay the rent, take care of other responsibilities and perhaps we just take a moment to pray to the Lord when our day is done. At least that is how my life has been in the past 6 months.

I am trying so hard to fill my responsibilities with my family, my home, my education. I am giving my all to my education right now at the expense of everything else. I have put my home and the care of it on the back burner. My relationships are suffering as well. My loved ones know its only for a while and are very understanding, which I think has given me permission to just let it all go. And my relationship with the Lord has suffered as well.

I used to go to the temple once a week. But, I think I only made it once during my previous semester. God understands as well. I know He does. He knows my heart as He knows yours. But, just like my relationships with the people I love...that does not give me permission to let it all go.

I have lost focus not only when I drive...speeding down the road thinking ahead and looking away. Talking on the phone making appointments with friends or talking with family because when I get home I have a mountain of homework.

I am thankful I had this wreck though it wreaked havoc on my heart, soul, body and car. It has made me stop and analyze my life. It has caused me to take stock of what is really important. It has made me realize my focus hasn't been lost just when I drive. It has also been lost in my life.

God needs me to do His work. God needs you. Just like we need Him because we are imperfect. My life also needs God in it to be stable, well-rounded and fulfilled. I need to give him my attention more than I have. Not only for Him but also for myself. My life is ALWAYS a more pleasent experiece when I have focused my mind and spent ample time with HIM my creator and my Father. I know my self-worth and who I am when I have taken the time to walk with Him for a while.

I challenge you to analyze where your focus is. Make more time for the Lord and you will be blessed. I know this to be true. With all my heart. Thank you Lord for teaching me a very important lesson.